Age of Kali

A Cynic looks at The New Sincerity

2012-02-11T07:48:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I was catching up on last year’s South Park and a couple of the episodes caught me right in the gullet. Maybe I need to back up a little bit though.

Even though the Manifesto for the New Sincerity surfaced in 2006, the term itself was in use back in the mid-1980’s, even showing up in Russian literary criticism, and the basic idea is nothing new whatsoever. To put it simply, it is honestly admitting to thinking and feeling whatever it is that you are thinking and feeling. No sarcasm masked under the misused name of irony, no fronting, no bullshit. You don’t get to say that you are too cool to get giddy over the ‘splosions in the new Transformers movie or that you’re too tough to cry when your cat dies.

Own up to it, live it and be whatever the hell you are. Period.

This is where I come in, as a member of a generation that spent pretty much all of our time trying to pretend that we were too cool for every mother fucking thing on the goddamn planet. I hate, hate, HATE hipsters, but they are the only possible outcome of what we were aiming for. We were supposed to be too jaded to find anything exciting, too worldly to be surprised or offended, too empty to feel at all. And we were so proud of this that we all actively endeavored to reach that state. Worse, after years upon years of playing at it, we kinda became what we wanted to be.

And it sucks.

The aforementioned South Park episodes focus on Stan, a year older, muddling through a world where everything turns to shit before his eyes (in a way, it reminded me of Raistlin Majere’s predicament). That’s basically what it is like, and we don’t quite know how to turn it off, even in other people. That’s how we get debates about the relative seriousness of bands like The Darkness or Foxy Shazam or Tycho Brahe's assumption that there is no distinction at all between the New Sincerity and "the old irony". They can’t just be awesome because awesomeness just feels fricking awesome. It’s impossible. I’m not allowed to go all out like that without fear of other people thinking I’m some lame douche, so neither are they. They must be trying to sarcastically poke fun at something, instead of doing whatever they want, without fear of reprisal.

We’re living in the middle of an amazing time for ourselves and the world. There is shit happening that should be blowing us all away, making us laugh, cry and riot in the streets. As much as I generally don’t agree with either the Occupy or Tea Party movements, I heartily wish I could care about anything as much as those people seem to. And here I am, standing on the wrong side of the net around the ball pit, unable to come in and play. I really want to all-out enjoy/rage against it all, but I’m stuck thinking that doing so is somehow wrong.

As previously stated, it sucks, but I don't know what to do about it and I can't afford Jameson's.

A brief appeal during lulzXmas:

2011-12-31T11:31:00.000-08:00

Dear, sweet and shiny members of Anonymous,

I get the point of the raid on Stratfor, honestly I do. Pointing out the huge hole in security in a company paid precisely for providing that service is indeed chuckle worthy at the least. I’m sure you’re meaning well by using the card information obtained in these raids to make donations to charities, spreading goodwill as well as chaos. Superficially, the only victims are the company, who is obviously not doing its job correctly, and a horde of faceless fools who must have the extra cash if they can invest in this type of protection. And who are stupid enough to pay for a service from a provider who cannot provide. Or they were stupid enough to want to make a living working for one of the organizations that use Stratfor, which is completely their fault as all companies get unanimous permission from employees on which companies to use for security and allow anyone who wishes to keep their information out of the company systems.

However, you may not realize the problems you are creating for the charities you profess to be gifting. Whenever an erroneous credit charge is put through, and the defrauded party needs to be credited back for the charge, that money has to be credited back from the charity. In other words, the donations disappear. This, in itself is a general no harm/no foul situation for the charity except that this process of going through the donations and crediting the money back takes man hours. However unintentionally, you are costing these organizations money.

It makes it a bit hard to push the image of yourselves as modern day Robin Hoods (as perfectly elucidated here) when your actions dry up desperately needed funds from organizations which exist solely to provide help to those in need. This isn’t heavy handed lecture time, or anything like that, but we would all prefer that you think about the larger fallout of your actions.

Sometimes, the LULZ just aren’t worth it.

Thanks,

Anton

Humpin a Corpse Never Felt so Good

2011-11-26T12:37:00.000-08:00

One of the things that depresses the ever lovin’ shit out of me in the course of this review writin’ game is seeing good publishing companies go belly up. Sure, there is enough crap out there to drown us all, especially since so many think that the ease of e-publishing means that everyone knows how to do it right. However, there are a select few who not only “get it”, but have a real and for true honest love of literature and those who create it. Companies and individuals who pour their life and adoration into both the crafting and promotion of those little hunks of written words. The ones who make me happy to spend the roughly double price for a trade paperback or mortgage off a local newborn for a hardback. Then I see them crash because it is a stressful fucking job that takes everything you can put into it just to keep your head above water.

That just plain sucks blue whale testicles.

Case in point: June of 2010 saw Necro Publications go on an indefinite hiatus (what is usually a nice term for “done for goddam ever”) due to a combination of economic and personal health factors. Necro was the company that introduced my to the small press world as well as showing me that Hardcore horror meant much more than simple gore. Through Necro, I met a no nonsense dead cat and a goddess of shit. I found out that Gary Braunbeck can be hilarious, that Wrath James White can kick my throat out and that no one sees the world through as dark, or as hopeful, of a lens as Charlee Jacobs. Proprietor and layout guru, Dave G. Barnett, made some of the most striking looking packages available (Dread in the Beast and Dead Cat’s Traveling Circus and Miracle Medical Sideshow are almost too ridiculously gorgeous to exist). Necro was one of those companies that, no matter what it was that they were putting out, I knew I would love it. As much as Dave loved the genre, he had no tolerance for crap. Nay lover of truly ballsy and high quality horror should have been weeping their eyes out when this happened. I know I did.

However, I recently found out that Necro is back on its feet, with a new website a fresh book in the form of Jeffrey (Punktown) Thomas’s vampire gangster novel Blood Society. You can also get some sweet ass versions of Charlee Jacob’s This Symbiotic Fascination and Soma, Gerard Houarner’s The Road to Hell and more Ed Lee than you can shake a cancerous dick full of smegma at. If I had the money, I’d go broke in about two seconds there.

Head yer butt on over to the new Necro website and experience a little joy.

Why I've been gone.

2011-08-10T15:10:00.000-07:00

Hello all and good day to you. I know I’ve been remiss in plunking out my splendiferous little thinkies, but things have been a bit hard on the old boy lately. There are times when you think you are doing the right thing, when you act in a manner every fiber of your being says is the correct and moral thing to do, and you get kicked in the balls for it. As a result of trying to hold to a promise I made to a very dear member of my family who has since passed, my wife has no job and the two of us may soon find ourselves without a home.

We’re taking care of a depressed man suffering from senile dementia who was a bit of a bastard before the dementia set in and his wife died and he is the most reasonable person in the family to talk to. We’re stressed out to the point of nearly breaking and, if it wasn’t for the fact that I care greatly for this man, I would tell them all to take a running fuck at themselves and get out. I don’t know how to handle this and I’m pretty certain it will only get better when they finally decide to do something about the job they all feel we are not accomplishing properly but are unwilling to do themselves.

So, at this point, the only words I seem capable of typing out begin with F and end with UCK!

Hairy palms and all...

2011-06-11T10:32:00.000-07:00

Today, I caught a bit of Teenwolf (the new series, not the “Micheal J. Fox rides vans and dunks on everyone” display of total 80’s awesomeness-pictured above) on MTV. Please don’t make fun of me, it was on the TV at work and I only saw it incidentally as I was getting some water. But the portion I saw sent me into near paroxysms of laughter. Specifically, I saw I guy metaphorically get a slow dance boner and freak out in fear that someone would notice him come in his pants.

We all know that Victorians used to use vampire stories as a way to mask the hot and sexy stories for ladies, specifically those dealing with lesbianism (some thing snever change). It was a way to deal with the naughty bits while still wrapping them in lame morality and allow the readers to tell people they are reading supernatural fiction to thrill themselves. I always felt bad the Mina ended up with boring old man Harker instead of the Count, who had obviously rocked her world. Anyways, that’s probably why they work so well as a way for mid-pubescent girls to deal with their burgeoning sexuality, especially since a lack of blood would leave the guys in question effectively impotent.

Then we look at werewolves. I’m not the first one to point to a marked increase in aggression, hair in unusual places and new, frantic, all-consuming urges and say that they must be talking about guys during puberty. They become freakish, violent, uncontrollable monsters and never really change back. It’s a given.

Then I see a presumable werewolf dancing close with a girl. His eyes go wide, the music becomes distorted and the image looses focus and his nostrils flare before he freaks out. We all know what happened, because we’ve all almost turned into a wolf on the dance floor. Maybe this will even turn into a vehicle for adolescents to cope with burgeoning homosexuality in a descrete way.

(ok, so descrete isn't one of their goals)

On a side note, I rewrote the fall from paradise portion of Genesis as a fable. It didn't take much, but it amused me. Also, remember that there are only four days left until you can submit your stories of awesomely dickish awesomeness for the King Paul Anthology

Now I've gone and done it.

2011-06-04T20:40:00.000-07:00

Once again, my obsessions have gotten the better of me. The grand and ever expanding mythology Greg Hermes has created around the mighty and powerful King Paul via his songs on Carinemily (don't forget to check out the vintage porn while you're there) grabbed me by the balls and refuses to let go. It started with a tiny story and now... Now I've decided to give GenericPublishing (the publishing company I ran up until roughly five or so years ago that none of you have ever heard of) a chance at rebirth. The first published work through the GP mark will be tentatively titled “King Paul Crushes Your Face and You like It “, a chapbook sized anthology of flash fiction and praise poetry running with the King Paul mythology. It will be open for submissions starting June 15^th and close on August 15^th, with an intended release date of November 15^th, 2011. If this works out okay and doesn't drive me insane, then I will look into other releases in the future.

Interested parties should go here for submission guidelines.

A big step forward and a woman who kicks ass.

2011-05-17T19:20:00.000-07:00

I’ve done it. My first official attempt at adding Weird Tales to the large list of illustrious companies who have issued rejection letters in my name has been sent out. I’m curious to see how quick the turn around will be. As it stands, I am currently awaiting similar from The Library of Horror, Zombie Zak’s House of Pain and Night Terrors II. Wish me luck, people. My goal of 100 is still a while away.

On the “actually published” side, my dear wife Piper Morgan has seen recent publication. in Bloodbound Books’ DOA: Extreme Horror Anthology (“Everyone Has Their Own Sound”- a tale of sex, revenge and music) and PillHill Press’s Dark Things II (“Deliscious Morsels”- about the thing in the closet). “Delicious Morsels” received the following comment from Trish Martin at Horrornews: “This is the kind of story that will make you want to close the closet door, lock it, and then nail it shut.”

I'm not just promoting this because she gives me the sweet, sweet bootay, though that is certainly more than enough of a reason. These stories kick serious ass.

You should buy them shits, mofos.

Sucks to My Bullshit

2011-05-08T18:27:00.000-07:00

Well, my life has been rather shitty of late. On personal and financial fronts, it has seemed to be collapsing on itself. But there have been good things to help balance it out:

“Beautiful Things” (about the deteriorating relationship between a father and son, with zombies) is in the upcoming issue of Shroud (available for preorder here). Tim Deal ran me through the wringer on this story. Twice. His brutality and honesty resulted in a story I'm damn proud of. The man is a hell of an editor.

“The Morning Ritual” (exploring the savagery underneath the facade of civility) is up on Title Goes Here's May digital edition. I'm digging how they've split the digital and print editions, providing unique experiences for each and I'm happy to be a part of it. Plus, its free. You have no excuse for not at least giving it a chance.

I think I'm done with editing a new story dealing with the vampirism and isolation integral to the creation of art that will probably be my grand attempt at rejection from Weird Tales. A friend and pre-reader called it sexy and tripcicle.

With that in mind, life can go take a running fuck at itself. I'll still break down, I might find myself crying in the fetal position or punching the odd wall, but I'll still be here. Dammit if that isn't enough.

Why We Need to Repeal...

2011-04-23T06:35:00.000-07:00

I told you it was coming, so here is my rant on Ohio’s SB5. Since much has been made of the general union issues, I won’t bother touching those here. Instead, I wanted to focus on the largely overlooked parts. Keep in mind that, though this is from the point of view of a teacher, it affects all public employees. That means police, firefighters and many others. The people you depend on to save your butt when a problem occurs.

Merit-based pay for teachers: Ohio's 146,000 primary and secondary school teachers will be evaluated largely based on how their students did on standardized testing along with other more subjective criteria. By April 1 of each year, teachers would be evaluated based on their students' test scores, their licensure level, whether they had achieved "highly qualified" teaching status, at least two 30-minute or more observations of them by administrators as well as other criteria selected by local school boards. Decisions about which teachers are laid off or fired and what kind of pay they would receive would be based on this evaluation process.

I’m all behind the idea of merit based pay, but clear specifications need to be laid down. At every private sector job I’ve ever worked, there was a standard evaluation form that was used to decide raises and any employee had access to this form. This meant that there was no question about what the expectations of the employer were and any disputes over amount could be referred to this form. Here, the language is very loose and imprecise, allowing school boards to decide on their own criteria with no set guidelines. For instance, what specific test scores will be required for what level of raises? Will it be based off of average scores, improvement of scores, average scores compared to state averages or some combination? This is all very important. How about the observations? For ohio teaching certification, there used to be very specific observation forms that were used during internship and to move past the two year provisional license. Even though it was still subjective, the general criteria was clear and available to teachers and the general public. Do they plan on using the same form? Will it be different for a teacher’s 15th year than for their first? Once again, very important to know.

With any other proposed project, we would demand specific details. There’s no reason this should be any different.

Health care: Requires public workers to pay at least 15 percent of their health care coverage. The goal here is to force unionized workers to pay more for their health care costs and thereby lower that expense for local and state governments. Supporters of the law say that private sector workers on average pay about 23 percent of their health care costs.

This one is perfectly reasonable, since it is the direction much of the employment market has gone in. Sure, we’d all rather pay less for health care, but we have to live in the real world. Besides, doing this may allow for schools to afford to provide better quality health care for the teachers while still saving money. No problem here.

Decertification: Makes it easier to end union representation by lowering the percentage of workers needed to trigger such a move. In the past, a majority of employees was needed to back a petition to decertify a union. Now, a vote by only 30 percent of workers is needed.

Notice that this only goes one direction. Does it also mean that a 30% vote would be all that is needed to reinstate a union? Can you imagine the obnoxious back and forth tug of war that could, and likely would, occur do to this possibility? Beyond that, imagine if I said that we could pass a law with only a 30% vote in its favor. Nobody would support such a thing, as it goes against what a democracy stands for. If a clear minority can make a decision for a clear majority against their will, then we are operating much more along the lines of a dictatorship. At least a dictatorship has a clear leader instead of saying that any fool could tell the majority what to do.

Payroll deductions: Prohibits any public employer from providing a payroll deduction for contributions to a union political action committee without first having written permission from the employee.

Once again, perfectly reasonable. No complaints here.

Dues: Employees who do not want to join a union -- but nonetheless still receive the same wages and benefits spelled out in the union contract -- no longer have to pay "fair share" dues. Fair-share dues are based only on the cost of bargaining a contract and are less than full dues.

Here is the problem: if a union negotiates for higher wages, everyone in the organization receives those benefits. If I told you that I refused to pay for highway upkeep since I don’t drive on the highways, even though the produce at my local grocery store and nearly everything else I use and benefit from is delivered in a timely manner largely due to those same highways, then you’d slap me and tell me to shut up. If it is something that everyone benefits from, even if they do not use it directly, then they should all pay into it.

Of course, this is largely a moot point, since the removal of collective bargaining rights (yes, I know that it is only for benefits, but that is also where the largest need is) and binding arbitration will effectively kill the unions anyways.

Strikes: Prohibits public union workers from striking, though workers who strike illegally will not be subjected to jail time because lawmakers dropped proposed contempt of court penalties from an earlier version of the bill.

Precisely why paying attention to your history is important: This calls to mind the strikes of the late 1800’s and early 1900’s, where state militias were sent in to bust them up. The results were never pretty, and can we really afford to use government resources to shut down peaceful protests? I’m scared of what this will mean.

Information regarding this bill (in bold) was taken from Cleveland.com

I Think I might Cry...

2011-04-12T18:35:00.000-07:00

I won't take up too much of your time on this one, but I has good news from the land of the me. Just look at this puppy here:

If you follow the tastefully done list of names along the raven-birther's hair, you'll notice the first time I've ever made a magazine's cover. Not only that, but I'll be sharing the same general space-time slot as Brian Keene (don't bother pretending you don't know him), Scott Christian Carr (Hiram Grange and the Twelve Little Hitlers) and Eric Red.

Yep, you saw right. Eric goddamn motherfucking Red. The original Hitcher had a profound effect on me the first time I saw it and still does every time I watch it to this day and Near Dark was vampires, violent and bloody and dirty well before 30 Days of Night. More recently, I dug the crap out of 100 Feet. It was a solid ghost story that took an interesting American approach to the J horror thing. Holy Crap.

Buy the issue for that stuff, and for the fact that Shroud always puts out quality work. But while you're there, you might as well read “Beautiful Things”, a heartwarming little tale of a man and his son in a world overrun by the undead. I'm quite proud of this work, especially after the rewrites Tim Deal suggested, which made it a much stronger and streamlined piece.

Sucker Punch: a response to reviewers and critics.

2011-03-27T13:56:00.000-07:00

Right from the get go, I'll just say: Fuck you moronic motherfuckers. In the ass. With a candle rolled in broken glass. Now that I feel better, I can begin to speak with a modicum of civility and intelligence.

Sucker Punch has been getting beat around by critics. The overall gist seems to be that it's real pretty, but without substance and story, to which I can only respond by asking if we saw the same movie. I can frankly, unequivocally and without reservation say that this movie was genius in a bottle and you can go suck a bag of dicks. I won't bother with a full review (the almighty Arrow does it well here) and it is hard to present a full case without dropping spoilers like expletives, but I'll try.

First, I'll address the story overall, which has been called incomplete and nonsensical. Zack Snyder and co-scripter Steve Shibuya have done their job here and the only reason anyone has to complain is if they are too lazy to deconstruct the metaphors and make use of the presented subtext. If you do so, then it all makes perfect sense, but they don't make it easy on you. I think what is giving people trouble is that the metaphors are visual and symbolic, making use of a subtle (and sometimes quite overt) pattern of image “rhymes”. Even worse, the entire real story here exists in subtext. It isn't presented directly at any point, so you have to use your teeny tiny brains quite a bit.

What confuses me here is that many who have lambasted this movie lauded Inception for doing the same thing. The entirety of Inception is a metaphor arguing that fiction can create experiences that are just as valid as those gathered from real life, which is why it was called genius. The complex layering of dreams made it impossible to tell what was real, but in the end, it didn't matter. Sucker Punch does the same thing with delusions, but pushes the argument further by showing their affect on our actions in the real world. This movie is not just saying that fiction and dreams create valid experiences, but also that they provide us with a way to process the events around us that can at times seem too much to be real. In doing so, they provide us with the tools (or weapons, as stated in the movie) we need to survive and surmount the obstacles in our path. And this is all done by pitting the lies that occur within Babydoll's head against the lies presented by her pederast father and the orderly at the asylum.

***Please forgive the fact that I do not delineate how all the above is done, using examples, etc as should very well be expected. Perhaps after it has reached DVD, it will have been out long enough that I would not feel that I was doing a disservice to the creators of the film and to potential fans by giving away too much. For the moment, I can only ask that you see the movie taking what I've said into account and draw your own conclusion.***

Another problem seems to be what is generally called a music video style of film making, which is the world Zack comes from and it is particularly obvious during this film. When people complain about this, they are neglecting the biggest constraint a quality music video operates under: they have to tell a complete and satisfying story without the use of dialog. The first ten minutes of the film does this perfectly, giving us a full and incredibly powerful story without the utterance of a single word, using the combination of images and the emotional effect of the music to provide us with everything we need. In fact, the times this movie works best is when no one is speaking. You can complain about that, but the unique combination of fluid images and sound is what makes film different from other media and Sucker Punch is a story told in a way that could not be done in any other media but film.

My only real complaint is the last section. I personally feel that the screen should have gone black at the hammer strike, since the rest is merely pointing out what an observant viewer should have seen already as well as providing a bit too tidy of a punishment for the “bad guy”. Of course, given that people, including those who get paid to pay closer attention than this, seem to have missed it even with the clearly mapped out points, the addition seems justified. Otherwise, this is Art that deserves the capital A and I hope that time shows the morons and lazy dipshits for what they are.

Bastards: The Dorchester Boycott

2011-03-24T19:04:00.000-07:00

I won't go on too long today, but I wanted to toss my nickel into the ring. You may remember me mentioning my feelings on the dissolution of Leisure books awhile back. At the time, I made sure to keep my comments limited to my view as a fan but too much has come to light to keep my mouth shut. I won't bother outlining the whole thing, since Brian Keene says it much better than I ever could. Given how much this company once meant to me and the effect their output had on me as a reader, I feel personally hurt by this. Betrayed. Pissed.

Fuck yeah, I'm not buying shit from them ever again.

Non-Wednesday WIP

2011-03-05T10:05:00.000-08:00

It is quite possible that I will tear a hole in the fabric of space-time by violating the rule of aliteration, but so be it.

On the inspiration front, I’ve been running pretty dry lately. I know that’s a piss poor excuse for not writing –I mock friends readily for such things- but I just haven’t been doing it. Really, I’ve just been too lazy to peck away at ye olde keyboard. But today, I got started on a new one and it seems to be going well. 1000 words down and I might even know where I’m going with it. So far, I’m dealing with vampirism, isolation and that ugly, overused and dull saw of a narrator who is also a writer. But I like where it is going and I hope to have something decently depressing come out of this.

I’ve been in one of those moods.

On other fronts: I’ve had a story I thought no one would ever be willing to seriously consider (“Have I Got a Deal for You”, with a giant vagina as a timeshare salesman) get shortlisted. Also, the editor at Cutting Block asked for an alternate submission to replace the one they rejected, so I’ve sent them another story no one seems interested in. Curious to see how that pans out. Also, I found out that Weird Tales is currently accepting submissions, so my goal of being rejected by them is within reach.

Add to that some extremely loose employment opportunities that may or may not present themselves and you have a decent week for the me.

***update***
Then I came home to find out that my financial situation is crapping all over itself. Nice.

A line, crossed.

2011-03-02T16:53:00.000-08:00

I’ve reached a point where I can’t hold off weighing in on the State of Wisconsin vs. its own teachers issue, especially since a similar issue has come up in my own state of Ohio. Before I continue, it is worth knowing that I am a prospective teacher. Currently, I work as a building substitute, but I would love to have my own classes and room one day. Obviously, that will flavor my thoughts on this matter.

I readily agree that teachers, as well as employees of several other government agencies, are going to have to be willing to make some tough sacrifices. Times have changed and what employers are willing to offer has changed as well. There is no doubt that benefits will be scaled back and pay will, at the very least, be frozen. This sucks horridly, but it sucks for everyone.

That said, if the right to collectively bargain for benefits is taken away from teachers, the results will be disastrous. First, this will, without a doubt, mean the eventual end of benefits for teachers or a reduction to the point of near non-existence. Without the ability to stand together, no single teacher will be able to protect themselves in this eventuality. Further, this won’t stop with teachers. A step like this will present a precedent that will be applied to all industries as a way to bust up unions.

In this day and age, with the benefits we are used to (such as the eight hour workday, paid overtime, the forty hour work week and the right to work in a safe workplace), it is easy to forget that the situation was not always this way. These things were not, as Utah Phillips put it, “gifts from a wise and benevolent management”, they were fought for and bled for by people that formed unions to protect themselves against the abuses of employers much larger than themselves.

I’m very afraid of where this could possibly lead.

(Later, I may rant some more about further specifics in the ohio bill that are even more frightening and which will have a hugely negative affect on education in the state, but that depends on my ability to stop weeping into my tie.)

A sad, a happy and moderate relief in between.

2011-02-26T07:07:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I found out that one of my favorite outlets for short horror fiction and writerly advice, Necrotic Tissue, is closing up shop. I always enjoyed receiving my copy of NT and, while I didn’t always agree with some of the editorial choices, I thought that they showed great taste overall. The good news is that he’s keeping Stygian Press running, so we can continue to look forward to more like Malpractice, Samnhane and Three Zombies and a Demon.

Still, it sucks.

Also, I finally received the rejection I was expecting from Cutting Block Press' annual Library of Horror anthology. It’s oddly comforting to be rejected when I aim way over my head like that. Hell, Bentley Little regularly shows up in their pages, among several other names much more worthy than mine. And the rejection was personalized. Next step: being rejected by Weird Tales, whenever they reopen for submissions.

But there is good news: The Terror At Miskatonic Falls is still on track, rolling along and looking fine as can be. When I had initially submitted a couple poems a couple years ago, it looked relatively simple: a poetry anthology built around a central narrative, akin to the Spoon River Anthology or Charlee Jacob’s Vectors. Since then, Kevin Lucia has fleshed out the framing story to fill in the blanks and Danny Evarts is doing some amazing artwork, mutating it even further. I can’t wait to see what this beast will look like when it’s finished.

Necrotic Tissue 13 out now.

2011-01-17T15:58:00.000-08:00

As a bragging point and launchpad for my giddiness, I wish to inform you, oh ye glorious reader, of the release of Necrotic Tissue #13. Not only does this fine publication have a damn sexy cover as well as a pretty good record with yours truly, as well as clocking in at well over 200 pages this go-round, but there is a special prize within. Nestled deep and slithering up the inner edge of its spine, you can find a bit of literary wonderment from yours truly. Specifically, “The Song That Crawls.” It’s fun and you know you want it.

Follow my bidding, minions, and go here to buy!

Communications in omlette form?

2010-12-22T15:56:00.000-08:00

What my wife said:
"Your Caps destroyed the Devils last night. YaY!!!"

How I interpreted that statement:
"An inability or unwillingness to remove the cap lock on the keyboard resulted in an exorcism or inadvertent slaying of some satanic being over the evening."

Apparently, she was talking about a hockey match wherein the club from Washington scored more baskets than the ne'er do wells of New Jersey.

Gotta love the flexibility of language and the gap between intended message and received message.

A Maudlin Look at Days Dead and Gone

2010-12-15T16:29:00.000-08:00

I don't know why this took so long to write, maybe because it took so long to really and truly kick in.

It isn't a secret, by now; to any fan of horror literature that Dorchester Publishing's horror line (Leisure Horror) has fallen on hard times. They have pulled out of the mass market business and plan on only releasing trade paperbacks and e-books. I certainly won't knock either approach, especially since printed words are destined to be a very niche market as ereaders proliferate and cheapen but it still makes me incredibly sad to see.

You see, dear friends and neighbors, Leisure was my introduction into the horror that I truly adore now. Without their covers leering at me during eight hour mindless slogs in a Kroger photo lab, I never would have discovered the likes of Tom Piccirilli, Gerard Houarner, Jack Ketchum, Charlee Jacob, Gary Braunbeck, Dick Laymon, etc. etc. If I had never discovered them, then I would not have been pulled into the dark tunnels of the independent horror publishers in search of more of their stuff. This, in turn would have deprived me of the huge, ghastly and gorgeous surprises that have lit up my life over the years. I never would have known there was such a thing as the Hardcore movement or met a lively dead cat with a penchant for unvirtuous living. My library would suck!

This loss means a lot to many writers who would never have had the opportunities they currently possess, but it means as much to me as a fan. This is a loss to the art itself, a loss to the horror community. Without a mass market publisher willing to take the risks Leisure took, I am afraid that the chances others have of accidentally tripping over something amazing that lies just over the boundary of easy profit will be practically nil.

I'll be okay. I get free books from amazing writers and publishers all the time just because I talk too much about them. I'll also continue to follow the Leisure line, as their editors have shown remarkable taste. All the same, a glorious time that means more to me than I can adequately convey is over.

Crap.

They done popped my cherriy.

2010-12-05T12:35:00.000-08:00

I'm no longer a virgin people.

On January 21^st, 2011, my first monetarily lucrative story will be available to smack you in the face. The story is “The Song that Crawls”, the product of my split obsessions with Lovercraft, Tom Piccirilli and all things Dax Riggs (the title actually comes from an Agents of Oblivion song, but Dax gave me permission to use it) and I'm glad to see that it has found comfortable little home in Necrotic Tissue. They've got a great mag going on there -I've said a few nice things about them periodically- and I am awed to have my name appear in their pages.

Sure, I've had work published in the past and some of it will eventually result in money gracing my palm but none have actually done so yet. That makes this particular work something very special to me and I would like anyone reading this to celebrate by buying a copy or, even better, subscribing to the magazine.

In case you are curious, “The Morning Ritual,” a tale of sacrifice and the morning commute, will be appearing in the digital version of Title Goes Here and “Beautiful Things,” dealing with familial responsibility, will show up in an upcoming issue of Shroud. I'll let you know dates when I know them.

For the moment, I feel a little bit tired, a little bit sore and very content in your arms.

At the Precipice of Sadness?

2010-09-15T17:04:00.000-07:00

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m having second thoughts about power duo Guillermo Del Toro and James Cameron’s upcoming film adaptation of At the Mountains of Madness. I’m a huge Lovecraft dork who would love finally see a good adaptation in an honest to goodness theatre (the only thing that disqualifies the marvelous HPLS version of Call of Cthulhu) and that team should be the ones to finally pull it off. Cameron has the clout to access a practically bottomless budget and Del Toro has the vision and imagination to pull off the look and feel. Still, I’m worried.

Let’s start with a comment Del Toro made regarding monsters in horror films on Deadline. It’s that “you have to keep the monster in black and white” that gives me shivers of potential rage. One of the things that makes it possible to get past the overbearingly dry presentation of Lovecraft’s prose and what makes his work truly great is the moral relativity he presents. None of the “monsters” can be easily classified as such, they are just too alien to humanity to be viewed with anything but panic. Larger than us, ancient beyond our ken and produced by wholly incalculable evolutions, they are things beyond our comprehension. That is what scares us, not any sense of inherent evil.

(this is one of the more relatable ones)

But there’s more. Even if I can get beyond what is a major philosophical roadblock (to me), there is the issue of the story itself. AtMoM, is far from Lovecraft’s best work and suffers from a major problem in relation to narrative: very little actually occurs. If translated literally, the audience will be following an archeologist as he wanders through the wreckage of a dead civilization. Sure, an elder thing destroys the base camp near the beginning and a Shoggoth chases our intrepid duo away at the end, but that is it. I am having a hard time imagining how someone would turn that into an enjoyable film without demolishing the original story.

(and we're walking...)

That ties into a central problem with adapting Lovecraft: he didn’t create satisfying narratives. Most of his stories were revelatory, ending when the curtains are pulled to the side and some hapless soul goes insane with the knowledge of unfathomed infinity. It makes for great short fiction, but the lack of a central conflict saps endurance out of a reader fairly quickly. This effect is multiplied a thousandfold with most moviegoers.

What I’m left with is something that may go directly against everything I love Lovecraft for while also alienating the vast majority of the public, who could give a rat’s ass about the man, with an overlong story about some guys walking through a cave.

Temper Tantrums as Bad PR

2010-09-01T17:53:00.000-07:00

Recently, the proverbial fit has hit the almighty shan of the interactive media (read: video games) market due to a decision THQ made to tell purchasers of pre-owned games to go fuck themselves running. Now, I don’t bother with online gaming (I’m too much of a misanthrope to deal with even digital imaginations of people), so this doesn’t affect me in any way but the statement is rather loopy-minded and will probably hurt them and the industry through an unnecessary build-up of bad blood.

Yes, I know that publishers and creators get jack-all from a resale of a previously purchased game and I acknowledge how much that sucks. There are several incredibly cool people I know in the book publishing market who face the same situation in regards to used bookstores. They put hard work into something and get nothing back for the enjoyment they provide. But I have never heard an author or publisher in the indie market (the ones that are truly hit by this) call out for one-time use from a book purchase.

They don’t do that because the (very limited) benefit would be outweighed by a wealth of negative feeling on the part of their actual purchasers (not the ones mentioned here). People who would normally be perfectly willing to buy new would still be likely to take offense to being called thieves. Besides, they also realize that someone who bought a used copy of Cthulhu Unbound (by the fine folks at Permuted Press) and enjoyed it will be much more likely to pay full price for the new shiny Cthulhu Unbound 2.

On a side note, as evil and generally dickish as Gamestop may be, the HUGE markup they make from used sales allow them to survive with the minimal markup allowed with new sales. Otherwise, my only options would be Best Buy and Walmart, neither of which carries much beyond the latest Halo clones. Because of that, I tend to go there for new games as well. In addition, their willingness to buy games I don’t play anymore often nets me the $15 bucks extra that allows me to buy the brand-spankin new game in all its crisp and shiny glory.

Uh oh! There's gonna be something in my pants.

2010-08-26T16:23:00.000-07:00

So, Context is a mere day away and I'm a terrified little boy.

Let's back up so I can splain. In a moment of arrogance (I have had 5 Poems accepted for publication, after all), I signed up to be a part of the Open Poetry panel, which has seen the likes of Mike Arnzen, Matt Betts and Cathy Callaghan in recent years. I've enjoyed it as a member of the audience so I figured that it could only be more enjoyable as a panelist. All was fine and good in happy town when I was officially accepted for it.

Then I found out that I will be there along with both Cathy Callaghan and Lucy "Giant Steel Ovaries" Snyder.

Don't get me wrong, I'm honored to have such an opportunity. At the same time, my pants are filled with fear poo and the urine of dread. How, precisely, do I not look like a talentless hack in that company?

So, please come and watch me make a fool of myself.

Stepping off into the wild blue yonder.

2010-08-14T06:07:00.000-07:00

The great Brian Keene released some interesting news earlier this week via his website. Amid explaining his recent decision to split with long time publisher Leisure, he let spill that some upcoming rereleases he has been promising (Fear of Gravity, Unhappy Endings, The Rising: Selected Scenes From the End of the World, and Earthworm Gods: Selected Scenes From the End of the World) will be self published. I’m quite curious to see how this experiment will work out for him.

As a reviewer, I have a tendency to cringe whenever I see something that is obviously self published. There is a lot to be said for a good editor with experience in the field and the importance of your work being seen with a fresh set of eyes. Every writer needs someone cold and heartless, who is willing to tell them what needs to die in their precious little darling. Also, the little bit of extra quality control is usually a good thing. The only good experience I’ve had with a self-published work is Bradd Quinn’s Under, which has a damn good story at its heart but is still in desperate need of solid content editing. I used to self-publish through my own company, Generic Publishing, and the stuff of my own that I put out sucked donkey nuts. Even Stephen King proved that we cannot be trusted to be our own editors.

At the same time, the self-publishing stigma has been waning in recent years, due in part to a combination of the rising e-publishing market and the proliferation of quality software to self format your book. There are also a shitload of hired gun editors out there, but beware that many of them will only copy edit instead of editing for content and providing useful advice on how to make your story better. It isn’t easy and advertising on a budget is a real bitch, but it can be done.

If someone can do it well, it would be Brian Keene. The man has already proven himself as a quality writer and he has the clout to draw attention without depending on a publisher’s good name. I think this is going to be a big test for self publishing. If he can’t do it and make it at least mildly profitable, then the future doesn’t look so bright anymore.

But, to paraphrase a poster from Jello Biafara’s bid for mayor, what if he wins?

Lucky Number 5!

2010-07-15T17:34:00.000-07:00

A very short poem of mine, “She Doesn’t Speak Anymore”, has been accepted for an upcoming anthology by Needfire Press. This puts me up to an amazing and confounding total of 5 works of mine that will see print in forms that I did not create. Yay me.

These Apparitions is a collection of poems riffing on Ezra Pound’s “In the Station of the Metro” with a focus on answering the following question: Who are the faces in the crowd? Since imagist poetry isn’t done very much these days, I’m looking forward to seeing how the other authors have approached the form. You, of course, should be looking forward to basking in my glory once this goes to print. However, if I am not enough to pique your interest, Steve Rasnic Tem, Steve Vernon, Roy C. Booth, Cynthia Booth, Barry Napier, Bob Freeman, Louise Bohmer, and J. Bruce Fuller are also featured.

More info will be made available as it appears to me in dreams. Or in Emails.

Who got that swagga?

2010-06-16T17:47:00.000-07:00

I’ve good news to share, for those of you that care. Now, in addition to the reviews I am already writing for Horrornews.net, I will also be writing reviews for Shroud Magazine as well as their book review blog. It’s a hell of an honor and a nifty feeling to be working with some of the best people in the independent horror market.

I am as giddy as a little boy, gazing upon his first pair of honest-to-goodness breasts.

Lick my sores, please.

2010-06-06T19:47:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't already know, I write book reviews for Horrornews.net. It's a great gig and I would recommend it to anyone, but I have been informed by some people that they do not wish to use that venue to peruse my wondrous and amazing opinions. For those people, I present the Pustule Oozings blog devoted entirely to my arrogance and sense of self importance. I think I may also use that as a venue for none horror related reviews as well, but you never know with a lazy bastard like me.

Night Terrors available.

2010-05-08T10:36:00.000-07:00

Just a quick plug:

Night Terrors, the first anthology by Bloodbound Books, is available for order through the ubiquitous powerhouse that is Amazon.

The reason you care (trust me, you do) is because it contains a marvelous little ditty by the name of “Are you the Fairest?” written by a marvelous little lady known as Piper Morgan.

You should buy it.

WIP Wednesday? Why not.

2010-04-07T17:13:00.000-07:00

If anyone is reading this, I’m not sure you would actually care about these things, but what the hell, eh?

Fairly fresh off of a story that blatantly rips off both Lovecraft and the work of Dax Riggs (ranging from the early Acid Bath stuff on up to his Deadboy and solo stuff) so much so that I felt it necessary to obtain permission the Dax before continuing, I’m trying my hand at poetry again.

This time, it is a rather large prose poem in five parts detailing the night Manatees got pissed off, organized and violent. The first draft is about 2/3s done and I am feeling a bit stuck. One of the sections is going to mirror the opening to Jaws, so maybe I should watch that again. I also need to read up on some good battle poetry.

Here’s to an idea no one in their right mind would buy!

Marvel Comics Officially Run by Wussies

2010-02-12T17:44:00.000-08:00

Strap yourself in, it's bitchin' time. Read the following link first, then continue on. I'm too lazy to bother recapping.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ynews/20100211/ts_ynews/ynews_ts1129

Caught up? Good. Let's get this shit on.

Before you start making an ASS out of U and ME, I could give a shit about those who are complaining about this new "anti-American" Captain America. You don't agree with the point of view presented in the comic, go ahead and bitch your little heart out. It's your right and I'm sure the artists appreciate the extra attention you brought to the series. What pisses me off here is how Marvel reacted... retracting and apologizing like a little bitch.

I'll put it simply: pull up your big boy panties and act like damn adults.

Art, even of the trashiest sort, should have something to say. Even better if it pisses people off. That means that it is bringing core precepts and ideals into question. Who knows, maybe then people will be forced to think about their assumptions. That, to me, is what makes great art stand out from the merely good.

To me, this approach, in addition to the stance the writers had him take with the Civil War storyline, does not represent an Anti-American point of view. Instead, I see it throwing into sharp relief the conflict experienced by many Americans who quite truly and deeply love their country, but see its government going in a direction that runs counter to the philosophy it was founded upon. This is precisely the type of issue that only a character like Captain America can address,.

But that isn't the issue. The issue is Marvel rolling over on their back to appease a silly, childish bit of playground bullying because they have no goddamn balls. As the publisher, they should simply have stated that any implicit or explicit opinions expressed in that work, like in any work of art, are those of the artists and BACK UP THOSE ARTISTS' RIGHT TO EXPRESS THEMSELVES THROUGH THEIR ART. If you publish it, own up to it.

Comic fans and artists have been rightfully pushing for the elevation of Graphic Art above the level of childish entertainment in the eye of the public for decades, but this sets that movement back to square one. By essentially saying that political views and commentary have no place in their publications, they are saying that they do not trust their readers to consider these issues on their own. They are agreeing that Captain America has no place except as mindless entertainment for children. And this is coming from a company whose best output has boldly dealt with issues of race, environmental destruction, corruption and nuclear proliferation.

Hell, Random House never apologized for Primary Colors, despite the blatant personal attacks on the President. Tyndale House never retracted the Left Behind books due to the political and social agenda that takes just as much center stage as religion and action. Plume still stands behind Atlas Shrugged, an unadulterated plea for total laissez-faire governmental policy. They acted precisely like a publishing company should: they stood behind their artists.

Marvel, meanwhile, is run by wussies.

Arrogance Incarnate

2009-12-31T15:34:00.000-08:00

Damn near everyone else has put up a “best of 2009” list of some sort, so why not me? After all, I’m important. I know that all of you look to me and my reviews on horrornews.net so that you know what to read next. I owe you this, and, as a beneficent overlord, shall provide. In the interest of brevity, I’ve kept my list down to my favorite books from this past year. My criteria was simple: if I remembered it well enough without having to pick it back up and thumb through, then it must have made an impact on me and is therefore worth consideration. If you want to know more about one of these fine products, then feel free to look up my review on the previously mentioned website as I am too lazy to bother linking them here.

Dead of Night: Devil SlayerSlayer by Brian Keene:
This was certainly my favorite graphic novel of the year, a classic storyline brought back to life in a thoroughly modern context and sensibility. Yes, we’ve got the creation of a superhero and yes, there are tons of demons getting their asses handed to them. This is to be expected. What made this series so special was how well the styles of both the artist and the writer (Keene) complemented each other. Both took a simple, lean approach that gets the hell out of the way of the story. Because of that, there are no great, quotable lines or iconic, full page scenes but there is a hell of a story, steeped in the sense of personal tragedy Keene is known so well for.

A Writer’s Workshop of Horror, edited by Michael Knost
I wear many hats in my geekly domain: dorky fan of all things horror, Literature and English teacher and occasional planter of word-farms. This book managed to single-handedly give all three aspects of my personality the kind of wood that is usually reserved for the combination of my wife, Switchblade Symphony and a marked lack of clothing. There is no reason for any writer of any genre to not own this, as it is about as comprehensive as you can get. The teacher in me loves the way each section is designed around specific topics of interest and import, practically drawing out lesson plans for me. Most importantly, the drooling fanboy was in awe at the opportunity to look into the minds of some of my favorite authors and incredibly impressed with the easy, conversational and entertaining style.

Chimeric Machines by Lucy Snyder
Yep, I’m a poetry nerd too. At the same time, who can deny the power, glory and utter amusement of a talent like Lucy’s, eh? She had already floored me with the now classic Installing Linux on a Dead Badger, but I had no preparation whatsoever for this. Erudite yet accessible; emotional, yet intellectual; witty, yet gut-bustingly funny. Oh, and there are a couple REALLY filthy little numbers to be found here as well. I had a poetry prof a few years ago who told me that there were no truly great poets any more and I wish I knew where to find him so I could shove this book down his throat.

Malpractice, edited by Nathaniel Lambert
The first anthology put out by one of my new favorite magazines, Necrotic Tissue, kicked its way screaming into my brain tissue. I tend to prefer anthologies with some type of common element to tie the stories together but this one goes one step further by having its entire medical horrors take place within the same hospital. That little touch turned what would have been a nearly flawless collection into something that felt more like a single tale as told my several tellers. One of the few antho’s I’ve read that did not have a single unenjoyable story present.

Dead America by Luke Keioskie
In a market flooded with walking, shambling, obnoxiously similar corpses, Dead America blew me the hell away. It isn’t a survival/siege tale, it doesn’t outline the end or near-end of humanity and the neccers present are not naturally cannibals. Instead, this is a detective story of the Sam Slade variety that just so happens to be centered in a world where the dead get up a few hours after expiring and go back about their unlife. Dark, dreary but not quite nihilistic, this is a wonderful, wonderful work. Without a doubt, one of the treasures of the year.

Near misses: Devil’s Marionette by Maurice Broaddus, Under by Bradd Quinn and Mama Fish by Rio Youers

Damn Zombies

2009-12-05T10:11:00.000-08:00

Seriously, can we stop now? At least for a minute or two. Look, I love the rotting, shambling monstrosities as much as the next guy. I had The Zombie Survival Guide on pre-order before it was originally released and paid an ungodly sum for Fab Press’ Book of the Dead. The mention of zombies brings to mind some of my favorite memories and I’ve even written a couple myself. But I need a break.

The last several books I’ve been sent for review as well as the one that’s on the way are all zombie based. Probably 2/3rds of my total reviews have been of Zombie novels and several of the have been REALLY friggin good. Still… back off a bit. I’m actually longing for some emo vampire action, if that gives you any clue as to my mindset. Just… grrrr.

Dear Nyarlathotep in the great empty beyond, why can’t Lucy Snyder’s book come out sooner?

For Dave

2009-11-28T08:50:00.000-08:00

I found out earlier this week that an old friend of the family had died. For various and sundry reasons that are none of your damn business, I haven’t seen or talked to him in at least a decade. I would’ve thought that, given the lack of contact, this news would be a mild curiosity to me at best. Hell, I knew him mostly as my parents’ drinking buddy. Instead, I’m finding myself incredibly affected.
Then I began to think about it more.

Dave bought me my first bike back when I was seven or eight. It was cobbled together from bits found at the trash dump, rusted all to hell and waaay to big for my size at the time. Just getting onto the damn thing was an accomplishment and pedaling was practically Herculean in scope. But, it was my first bike and I loved the damn thing.

Then there was the Halloween he dressed up as Frankenstein. Already a tall bastard, he nailed a couple inches of wood onto the bottom of his boots to add that nice, clompy gait. He also squared off his head with a nice chunk of putty (sometimes, being bald has it’s advantages). As I said, he was naturally a big guy, but in that getup, he loomed. Yes, there are people out there who have done much more extravagant costumes, but to my young eyes, he was practically a god for that day.
Remember the old Bud Light “Ladies’ Night” commercials, the ones with balding, fat, hairy men dressed up in drag to get cheap beer? He did that at a couple bars, even though he seemed to have an almost preternatural ability to miss each bar’s respective Ladies’ Night. I wish we still had the picture of him and a local radio Sports DJ during one of those outings.

None of this should mean anything to any of you, but his fearlessness in the face of fun, especially given the crap that he put up with over the course of his life, has profoundly effected the way I live mine.

The world is a poorer place without him and I really wish I had picked up on that sometime when it could have mattered more.

Cheese in the hour of rot.

2009-11-19T17:07:00.000-08:00

I’m coming across a bit too self-aggrandizing, given that my last post was about this self-same issue but I’m going to toot my own horn a bit again anyways. Bet you didn’t know I could do that, did you?

Today, my copy of Shroud 7 was waiting for me when I got home from yelling at, and being yelled at by, the screeching, mindless, post-Lovecraftian insanity that we call middle school students. Now, I’ve seen my name in print before, sometimes even without paying for it, but this time is special for some unnamed reason. Maybe it’s because it is in a successful publication this time. Maybe it is just the glossy cover. Maybe I’ve invested much more worth into it than is appropriate. But I’m happy for the moment and everyone I know will get very sick of seeing the damn thing real soon. Then I’ll show it to them once more.

I’ve been stressed out over money, annoyed over the fact that I can’t seem to get off of my ass and push my career farther and way too tired for all of this shit. But for the moment, life is kinda pretty and nice. Now I just need a couple rejection letters for the stuff I intend to send out in January to knock my ass back down to earth.

Giggling like a little girl

2009-10-10T08:40:00.001-07:00

Excuse me for a moment while I dance around in abject joy, even though my dancing would be better described as arrhythmic convulsing.
I’ve never considered myself a writer so much as someone who occasionally likes to write. The difference is more than semantics; it could span gulfs of intellectual intent. Even when I was running Generic Magazine and Publishing, I put my own work in more as filler than anything else. That said, I find myself perplexed and elated to have made my first ever actual sale.
Some time in the relatively near future, Shroud Publishing will be releasing an anthology of poetry (the working title has been “The Terror of Miskatonic Falls” but who knows what the future will bring) that will feature two poems from the glory of me. The basic idea of the anthology is a Spoon River-esque tale of a town’s mysterious desolation and desertion during a freak snowstorm as told through a series of poems. With the Mistaktonic name attached, expect Lovecraftian horror galore. I’ll let both people who read this know more details as they arise.
I have also had a piece of flash fiction win a runner up position in one of Shroud Magazine’s flash prompt contests. This will appear in issue number seven along side of an entry from a good friend of mine whose work never ceases to enthrall me.
Life is fun sometimes.

In defence of Halloween

2009-08-28T06:43:00.000-07:00

Much to the consternation of raving and foaming fanboys, Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 opens tonight. As it stands, I was and am completely perplexed by the moaning over what was described as an absolute bomb of an opening weekend for the first one. How the hell does anyone put “only” and $4 million” in the same sentence? Sure, that isn't Transformers 2 cash or anything, but for the movie that it is that is a hell of a draw for two days. Especially since many fans of the raw brutality he was aiming for tend to just wait for it to hit video. That bit of bitching aside, I wanted to take a moment to defend that film against the apparent hordes declaiming it.
Regardless of your opinion of the film as a whole, pacing issues, you being pissed off that Michael is too big or his background in a stereotypical white trash home, there is a moment of absolute genius that raised it far above damn near everything to to roll through theaters this decade:
The First Kill.
We all know the drill. We're shown a complete douche that no one in their right mind would bother defending. In this case, it's the standard school bully who makes the mistake of talking shit about poor Mikey's mom. The guy might as well have had “dead” tattooed across his forehead.
No-one is at all surprised when he gets ambushed in the woods (especially with those F13th esque camera angles) and the entire theater erupted in cheers and laughter when that first whack fell. The little shit had it coming and we NEED to see him pay. This is a fairly standard trick that allows us in the audience to enjoy brutal slaughter guilt free. We came to see some people get fucked up and dead, but we aren't sick people because they deserve it. This is precisely what everyone paid for and we are all comfortably happy.
The pure genius that I mentioned before comes in how the scene plays out. Normally, no matter how brutal, a kill scene in a slasher will be over quick. Slice slice, splatter splatter, we're done and on to the next. But Rob just keeps going with this. We see this dickhead turn from belligerent to cowed but he just won't fucking die. By degrees, the noise in the theater faltered and by the end everyone is dead silent. This boy who is probably just as miserable and fucked up as the kid we were siding with is pathetically begging, pleading for his life and Micheal just keeps pounding away while we sit and stare. This ride isn't fun anymore mommy, I want off.
For the first time in my life, I'm in an audience that is truly horrified.
Sure, most of them have seen worse than what just happened on the screen. The scene wasn't particularly gory. The horrific aspect isn't the image or even the act itself but the fact that we wanted it to happen. This bastard made us feel safe in a trope that we all knew and then forced it down our throats. The effect was similar to the ages old approach of forcing young Jimmy to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes on after the other because he thought he was old enough to handle smoking.
That stunned, absolutely silent audience experienced true art and they probably never even noticed.

Super-deep Bhuddist-like Ruminations on the Lawn

2009-08-13T15:58:00.000-07:00

Mowing the lawn yesterday (after a three week bout of laziness that resulted in the creation of a new ecosystem in my yard) got me thinking bout why it is that I actually enjoy doing it. It isn't exactly mentally engaging, it's repetitive and it uses up time I could be spending napping. In theory, this should be torture of a near taking-the-trash-3-feet-out-onto-the-back-porch degree, but I actually enjoy it. Stranger still, I'm not alone in this. I've asked around and quite a few people LIKE mowing their lawn. Why?
I'm not going to fall for that typical crap of the peace of working the land. The simple, repetitive nature of the act creating a Zen-like state? Then why aren't factories across America producing the most enlightened workers on the face of the planet? Yes, there is much to be said about any work where you can see immediate results but I can see the same kind of immediate results cleaning and I'll be damned if I ever do THAT willingly. I would say that they are all bullshitting me, but the mania with which some people approach lawn-care stands as proof against that.
I can only go with what know from myself and just assume that it applies to everyone. If it worked for Ayn Rand then it has to be a good approach, right? My reason is simple: control. Any moron can lay absolute waste to nature. Little kids burn ants with magnifying glasses and my own local P&G has been dumping all kinds of marvelous plant and animal killers into the ground and water supply for generations now. I could easily turn my lawn into an easily manageable wasteland of flat concrete, but where would the FUN be in that?
With my grass, I get to allow it to live its life as if it is a free being of nature but only in the ways that I wish it to. First off, only the types of plants and grass that I deem worthy are permitted to survive in my yard. Anything so common and unappealing as Dandelions or Clover fall beneath the wrath of my chemical doom. Further, those plants are only to exist in the places I want them to. I will go to any extent to destroy an uppity Yucca that has the nerve to pop up outside of its designated position. But here is the best part, where the mowing comes in: I let them live, but only so long as they don't have the nerve to grow higher that a couple inches. It's like random imprisonment of an entire species.
The exceptionally ingenious and cruel take it a step further by actually encouraging rampant growth. They feed their grass and other plants only the best food possible. Food that is designed to promote full, luscious growth. Then they cut those little bitches down.
An uncle of mine takes it a step further by growing grass and other plants where they don't even belong naturally. He lives in the desert and spends an inordinate amount of money on soil, water, fertilizer, etc. Then, once all of that begins to work its magic, the choppin' starts and it is truly something to behold.
The Glory of it all is astounding. Nothing else exemplifies man's subjugation of nature to his iron will like a well manicured lawn.

What thell right does he have?

2009-08-07T11:38:00.000-07:00

So, I just saw the video for the new Eminem and it brought up a question about the role and rights of the artist. Yeah, I know what you're thinking... Eminem, an artist, seriously? But it wasn't his work itself that got me thinking. Instead, it was the placement of himself among the atom-bombed wasteland of Detroit as if that is still the life that he leads.
I have to admit that I was inordinately pissed off at the presumption that he retains the slightest inkling of what it is like to no be obscenely rich. Until I starting thinking about the fact that that is what artists do, when they are doing it right.
Yes, anything an artist creates is a reflection of themself, but anyone worth their salt has to start looking outward at some point. As obsessed as I am with fiction, what pulls me in about it is that desire to place myself in another's world, to understand them and their life. All of my favorite authors have made their careers out of placing themselves in the heads of people entirely different from themselves.
To be pushy about it, maybe that is the role of the artist: to show us the lives of others as refracted through themselves and to open up our view of the world.
I think this whole thing was a tad self-indulgent.

The Existential Quandary of Being a Whore

2009-07-17T08:02:00.000-07:00

So, with Context coming up, I decided awhile back to use the opportunity to help promote my wife and a good friend of mine. Both of them are great writers who have very little willingness to promote themselves, which means that they will be doomed to killing themselves writing work that no-one will ever read. Such is the fate of the shy, introverted writer. So I wanted to help by putting together some promotional chapbooks to hand out during the con to fans, writers and possibly even a few of the publishers that will be there (because no-one ever does that, hehe). So far I am being completely altruistic, if slightly economically stupid.

The problem is that now, I can't seem to keep myself from putting in some of my own work which makes me feel like a bit of a douche. Now, instead of being a damn fine husband and friend, am I using them to whore myself out more? I'm not certain. Also, It makes it a tad more uncomfortable handing out copies because now I am one of those “self-published” authors that everyone makes fun of. The whole thing is making me self-conscious of my own idiocy.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I'll still go ahead and do it. Really, why the hell not?

The start of something no one really cares about.

2009-06-29T12:54:00.000-07:00

Let's hear it for self-depreciating titles, eh?
As I'm sure you'll figure out, I'm not too sure about this whole thing. In all honesty, I have no idea why anyone would give the slightest bit of a rat's ass what I think or what I have to say. At the same time, I have been finding that I occasionally have worthwhile thoughts and I am in the process of whoring myself out something offal (yes, the spelling is intended).

So, I guess I should tell you a bit about myself: I'm a complete dork with very little in the way of marketability to my dorkdom. There, that is what you get from me.

As a small note: I think the world may very well have already ended. I noticed this while watching the video for "White and Nerdy" for what is probably the 100th time when I realized the Weird Al can actually rap better than many of the "serious" rappers out there. This is not a good thing. The old Jewish guy is winning. And "Stuck in the Drive-thru" had more passion to it than almost anything on the radio. I am very, very afraid.

That and Faderhead's TZDV is probably the funniest damn thing I've heard in awhile. Thanks Chuk.

Talk to the one person to read this later.